The Way it Should Be

The other night at sharing night a wise young lady shared a bit of advice she got at home. Apparently she was telling her mentor about the changes that she went through coming to Bible school and how after four months, when she got home she felt as if  no one understood her. Then, two months later after coming back for a second semester, she felt it again! No one understood her here now because of the changes she went through in the two months at home!! It seems like a constant cycle, and I have felt it. There was little to no chance people were going to understand how my life changed at Orphanage Emmanuel. They weren't there. They didn't see those faces. They didn't feel those little hands in theirs.

So what was the advice she got?

“There will be a part of you that only God and you understand – and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.”

That is such freeing truth. So as I move away from talking your ear off about my time in Honduras, I will finish with the last piece of truth I needed to process through the whole experience. Ashley handed it to me and I have peace and joy.

I hope to continue filling my blog with what happens here at Portantorchas. But, interestingly, I had about 500 photos from last semester, and I have taken maybe 5 this semester so far. I find that metaphorically the first semester was child 1 – it got lots of photos. Then, child two, Honduras, got practically just as many. Child three, that is second semester at Port, has gotten almost none. Typical.  

So let me encourage those of you who have traveled or are traveling. Don’t feel bad if you are now simply living in normality overseas or away from home. Maybe life isn't warranting too many pictures anymore. That’s okay. Or, if you are home now and no one understands, take heart. As it turns out, that’s how it’s supposed to be and that’s good.

Take heart, have peace, and live in extravagant, unrelenting, and joyful freedom.

Let me Introduce ...

Let me introduce to you some of the sweetest and most loving (and sometimes difficult) little Honduran boys that I had the absolute pleasure to serve and love.

Mannuel

Mannuel – sweet, thoughtful, intuitive, leader. Mannuel was the easiest kid in the entire little-boy house to connect with. He was old enough to be funny and silly, but he also could be serious and calm. Mannuel was the best at watching the special needs boy, Jonathan, and was always respectful to him. It was hard to find kids who looked beyond their needs to see anyone else (which is typical in any country and with any kids), yet he did. One day some boys had been really nasty to me and after he came over to me and asked if I was alright and if my feelings were hurt. Very frequently he touched my heart with his spirit and actions.

 Eduardo

Eduardo was a little boy who wanted to feel special. He told me that at 6 his families' house burned down and he was the only survivor. A neighbor brought him to OE and he has been there for a few years now. Eduardo was on one of the cleaning crews so I got to know him very well by the end of my stay. Every night before I left to go home he would ask for a hug and end up in my arms, legs latched around my waist, cheek against mine and rubbing my hair as he holds on. It was like he wasn't thinking about how I would surely be back in the morning, he was just aware that this was the moment he had with me. I want to be more like Eduardo in that way. 

Osman

If I was going to take home one of the boys, it would be Osman. He's not super smart, he didn't come and sit on my lap all the time. He wasn't looking for the love and attention that the other boys were and I am not sure why. But, somehow in his being living I decided I would just love to give him a home. These pictures were taken on his birthday and when I asked how old he was, he didn't know. At first I thought that possibly he was really a lot less sharp than I originally thought, but then I realized that he most likely doesn't have any papers. It's a common occurrence for the kids at OE to not know their birthday (we were most likely celebrating the day he got to the orphanage and calling it his birthday) or how old they are.

Okay, one more picture because he's just so cute :)

Jonathan

Jonathan was my struggle. My challenge. The reminder that I need The Lord and His wisdom. As a special needs boy, Jonathan was a whole different story than the other boys. He is very strong physically and in his will. He can understand almost anything you want to communicate to him. But, he cannot communicate very much at all. I found that it was a constant struggle to be strict and firm while also compassionate and willing to help. I desired him to learn to listen well and thrive independently (which I believe he can) while still loving and caring for him in ways that accommodated his needs. Is it possible for a 20 year old volunteer to find this balance? I don't know. But, I tried always to have a spirit and attitude of love and to seek the Holy Spirit's guidance as I interacted with him. Thankfully, I love the little stinker, and he didn't mind me either :)

In the end I don't have the time, energy, or emotional capacity to write about every little boy who touched my heart. Ultimately, I wish you could just meet them, visit them, hug them, know them. And, as I go through this week, I hope to maybe post one or two more little blurbs about the things God taught me and a few special lessons from Him. In the end, God used 55 little boys to change the heart and life of a 20 year old Gringa. For that and for them, I will be ever grateful. 

Orphanage Emmanuel: How it Works

Okay, so before I can tell you much about my time at OE, I want to explain how this orphanage works.

OE has two sides, a girls side and a boys side. The kids are very separated from each other and with good reason. Because there are over 500 kids there, it would be an impossible undertaking to monitor the interaction of the boys and girls to make sure it is healthy and safe. It is not forbidden to date, but the founders (Mommy and Poppi) are very involved in that process. There have even been couples who were married at OE who were at one time the children living there. But, when there is coed interaction it is very calculated.

The house I worked in was a house with little boys ages 7-11. All the kids are broken into houses based on age and gender. The babies and toddlers are co-ed and if the mother is present she has the chance to live with her baby in the toddler or baby house until the child moves up to the little girl or boy house. Each house has a staff person in charge and many other support staff peoples as well as volunteers.

Many of the children at OE have siblings living there as well -- keeping families together one of the things OE is known for. Many teams that come make a point to get all the kids from families together to visit. Also, a lot of the kids there are not technically orphans because they have living parents that they may or may not know. But, many kids are there because their family was abusive or simply could not provide for them. It is not uncommon for a child to go back with their family after everything is in order and they are back on their feet. And, families can visit their children living at OE on weekends in the visitor area.

My job at the little boy's house was to do the laundry (that 55 boys x 2 outfits (day and night) + sheets that were peed on + lots of towels = a big job). We had 2 washers and one dryer. The dryer we weren't really supposed to use unless we had to. So, we hung most of the clothing outside. I also had to be at every meal and manage all the medicine. I worked with 1-2 other volunteers at this house for most of the time so we were able to work together to complete the responsibilities which was a blessing. After those main tasks were completed, it was up to the volunteers to plan any activities with the boys that we wanted to do or plan the birthday celebrations, pretty much do anything with them other than care for their basic needs which the staff was working to do. My boys had 3-4 big girls watching them through the day and evening who were in charge. It turned out that I was at the orphanage during their break from school so the boys just played all day outside, where normally they would be in school most of the day. This was a perfect opportunity to really get to know the boys and take them for walks to the farm and things like that because they were bored out of their mind most of the time.

My day started at 5am, I got to the little boys house at 6am and took a break from 1-2pm. Then, I went back until 4-5pm and was at the volunteer house for the evening. The  vlunteer house was comfortable and had anywhere from 9-13 girls in it, though it can hold (not comfortably) up to 20 girls. Living with some of the girls was a challenge, but it was a great reminder that ministry doesn't end when you're home, it continues. The volunteer house was a great place to minister to other volunteers through service, being easy to live with, and having a positive attitude when things got hard.

So, that's a little of how the orphanage ran and what I was doing. In my next post I hope to introduce some of my boys that I was especially close to and tell a little about them. And don't worry, I have pictures to last a lifetime!

The back of the house where I hung the laundry.

The yard that the boys played in. Toys and soccer balls were a prized and exciting thing to have.

The orphanage from a water tower on top of a hill. A lot of good prayer times happened up there for me,