Well, I think it has been a sufficiently long time since I have posted on this blog! So here is a life update for anyone that has been wondering about where I'm at. Maybe you have seen pictures on Instagram of a boy, and that got you wondering. Maybe you've been thinking I'm still in Atascadero, but just living under a rock somewhere (no, I haven't just been skipping out on church for a year -- yes, I did move).
I still am living in Sacramento, I am now a senior at Sac State. Lord willing this May I'll be graduated with a BS in Family and Consumer Sciences (think: Home Economics). Since living up here I have found a lovely church, an amazing community, and truly some of my best friends.
This summer I went to the Middle East, it was an absolutely lovely experience. I learned a lot about using my skills and talents for the Kingdom through an internship at a workshop. It was a joy and honor to be a part of what He is doing over there, Stay tuned as to whether there will be a return trip, you never know what God may be up to!
I do have a boyfriend, that's who you saw on Instagram. His name is Marc. We have been dating since April of 2016. Marc is 25 and lives in Chicago, and he's basically the best ever. If you think of it, please pray for us -- relationships are hard and long distance doesn't help! But I'm pretty sure he's totally worth it.
What else, what else .... I think that covers the big stuff. I am still completely addicted to coffee and eat way too much chocolate. Some things never change ;)
Thursday, September 8, 2016
Friday, March 4, 2016
Outworking of God's Nudge
It's safe to say that God is always nudging me here or there (I mean every post including my last one includes a new worldview, crazy trip, or life mantra). It's also safe to say I love it. I have recently learned that I really love change and variety. I value it highly. While my roommate may not love it (I am constantly changing my side of the room, sorry Alyssa!) I think that God has really used it as a motivating factor in my life.
Last November I had been in Sacramento for a whopping four months and was starting to feel restless. I felt like God was nudging my heart to something but I had just no idea what it could be. I was at a conference one weekend and was so broken over the poverty in this world, the wealth that college students possess, and the weight that we are dropping the ball as college students. Being an American college student means my peers and I are SO RICH! I was so broken at this conference over the fact that we are exploiting this reality, not leveraging it for the Gospel and justice. So after crying a lot, I went to bed and got up for the last morning at the conference ready to eat bacon and try to feel numb, because not only was I feeling too much, but no one else was hearing what I was hearing or feeling what I was feeling.
I walked into a huge dining room and saw one person I knew, Patrick, our college group leader. So I sat with him. Turns out he was leading an info meeting at that table about a trip to the Middle East. I was at the wrong table because for a girl who wants to drop out of college, taking a college organized trip was not my idea of a good summer.
I tried to keep my head down and eat my bacon, but like, Patrick started talking about marginalized women. He started painting a picture of their needs and the needs of a culture that has been ravished by the logic of unforgiveness. He created a desire for me to see how the Gospel works in a culture and land so close to where it Walked. In that second, I pretty much knew, " Erin, you're going."
And I am. And I am thrilled. I have NO IDEA how I have gotten to where I am, why God has taken me over and through the roller coaster of these issues and landed me in college. I have no idea what God wants to teach me through this trip, but He has very clearly nudged me into a corner on this one.
So, here is my shameless plug, if you have caught the vision of this trip (I know, I added very little details, and if I have told you more, please don't comment anything about it for the safety of the long term laborers that we are partnering with. It's an uncertain time and we have to be careful with what we share, not everywhere is as accepting to different religions as the USA. That's what's up with the very few details.) and want to be involved through prayer and giving, email me at eringoesfar@gmail.com. I have to raise an unbelievable amount of money (okay, to me it is, I'm a college student!) and I need supporters!
That's all for me today, folks. Stay tuned for trip updates and please, email me if you want to get prayer updates or info with giving!
Last November I had been in Sacramento for a whopping four months and was starting to feel restless. I felt like God was nudging my heart to something but I had just no idea what it could be. I was at a conference one weekend and was so broken over the poverty in this world, the wealth that college students possess, and the weight that we are dropping the ball as college students. Being an American college student means my peers and I are SO RICH! I was so broken at this conference over the fact that we are exploiting this reality, not leveraging it for the Gospel and justice. So after crying a lot, I went to bed and got up for the last morning at the conference ready to eat bacon and try to feel numb, because not only was I feeling too much, but no one else was hearing what I was hearing or feeling what I was feeling.
I walked into a huge dining room and saw one person I knew, Patrick, our college group leader. So I sat with him. Turns out he was leading an info meeting at that table about a trip to the Middle East. I was at the wrong table because for a girl who wants to drop out of college, taking a college organized trip was not my idea of a good summer.
I tried to keep my head down and eat my bacon, but like, Patrick started talking about marginalized women. He started painting a picture of their needs and the needs of a culture that has been ravished by the logic of unforgiveness. He created a desire for me to see how the Gospel works in a culture and land so close to where it Walked. In that second, I pretty much knew, " Erin, you're going."
And I am. And I am thrilled. I have NO IDEA how I have gotten to where I am, why God has taken me over and through the roller coaster of these issues and landed me in college. I have no idea what God wants to teach me through this trip, but He has very clearly nudged me into a corner on this one.
So, here is my shameless plug, if you have caught the vision of this trip (I know, I added very little details, and if I have told you more, please don't comment anything about it for the safety of the long term laborers that we are partnering with. It's an uncertain time and we have to be careful with what we share, not everywhere is as accepting to different religions as the USA. That's what's up with the very few details.) and want to be involved through prayer and giving, email me at eringoesfar@gmail.com. I have to raise an unbelievable amount of money (okay, to me it is, I'm a college student!) and I need supporters!
That's all for me today, folks. Stay tuned for trip updates and please, email me if you want to get prayer updates or info with giving!
Sunday, September 27, 2015
All I Have
Lately I have been confronted with poverty. Partly through my job, partly through living in Sacramento, and partly from my education and the books I have been picking up here and there (Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker is a must read). It has left me analyzing many of my decisions and thoughts on living in America and more importantly how I choose to live while I'm here.
If you have been around me at all in the past few days, you have heard me spew these few statistics that are sobering and humbling:
1. 68.8% of adults in the U.S. are overweight or obese.
2. 805 million people struggle with hunger every day and 2.6 million children die as a result of hunger every year.
(I found these statistics on google's search page)
3. Every 3.6 seconds someone dies of hunger (a statistic from Interrupted)
(I found these statistics on google's search page)
3. Every 3.6 seconds someone dies of hunger (a statistic from Interrupted)
Food is my focus in all of this, I am not even going to start in on the preventable diseases, the lack of vaccines, the lack of clean drinking water, all these things that the Third World deals with every day. No, I am going to simply look at how food relates to the world, maybe because mostly I understand the world in the context of food and family.
So, like I said, I have been thinking a lot about food in America and how we abuse it then look on as the world is starving. Literally. I was even thinking about it today as I drove to the grocery store to get food for this week. I thought basics. Potatoes, beans, veggies, no need to go overboard. Hey, if I had money left over I may even send it to the poor. Good thought, right?
So I was just about to the store and I saw a man with a sign that said something to the effect of "HUNGRY." I rolled down my window and offered him a granola bar that I had and said, "This is all I have, would you like it?"
There, right there, this is my problem. I was on my way to buy more than enough food for myself and I had the nerve to tell this man that my crumbled granola snack was all that I had. That was not all that I had.
I am so glad that God does not treat me in this fashion. He does not look around, find the leftover blessings, then offer them to me and say,"I know you needed more, Erin, but this was all I had." No, He goes so far above and beyond that with me. He lavished His love and blessings upon me. Then He asks me to go, to feed His lambs, to be His hands and feet, to touch and love the least of these.
I cannot, as of right now, go to the parts of the world that we associate with hunger, like the catch all of Africa. But there is hunger all around me, literally and spiritually. So I have this larger than life dream in my heart to stop shielding my eyes from the pain and hurt and hunger all around me. I mean that literally, because I'm starting to think that God may want me to actually feed people who are hungry. I'm starting to think that I will lose out on the real Gospel and real Jesus if I don't start being around the people Jesus was around when He was on earth. And really, I'm starting to take more seriously the thought that God may be holding me accountable to the knowledge and resources He stewarded to me, and I know that I'm not doing a good enough job.
When my roommates and I moved into our house we were thinking it could be a place of hospitality. In other words, fellowship. In my western worldview, hospitality is for believers. Maybe throw in one or two non believers to keep us salty, and that's it. Great, fine, we are serving God with our house. And maybe that's not a bad thing, but if feels a lot like blessing people who are already blessed. We had people over last night and all I could think was, "What if this many christians, the 20 of us that had gathered DID something? What if instead of watching a Star Wars movie, we prayed for the world, went out and gave from our abundance, what if we cared more to bless those who have nothing than to sit together and become distracted from the destruction happening outside our door."
Am I too radicle? Am I taking this too far? Didn't Jesus command a day of Sabbath? Aren't we allowed to rest together and just watch a movie? (Is watching a movie rest or is being in His presence intentionally rest?)
Well think about this: We were together from about 8pm-12pm, that's about 4 hours. 60 minutes times 4 = 240 minutes. 60 seconds in every minute would be 14,400 seconds we spent together. Divided by the 1 person every 3.6 seconds. 4,000 people died from hunger last night while we were watching our movie.
That is not to guilt or to shame anyone. I am merely trying to say that there is need in this world and as the Church we need start caring. As the next generation we need to start caring. As humans we have to care. Intentionality and prayer need to characterize our communities. We will truly stand by and let the world die if we don't start helping. Our passivity is hurting people and is keeping the Gospel from going out. People need Jesus more than food or water. But Jesus also told us to feed people.
I for one want to respond to this call. But before I can keep others from dying, I first my die. I must die to my desires, my lusts, and I must die to the way that I clench my fists around the things I want in this physical world. I hold on so tightly. But I must die daily, or this gospel, this healing, this Truth, it will never survive. And in turn, I and many more will not as well.
When my roommates and I moved into our house we were thinking it could be a place of hospitality. In other words, fellowship. In my western worldview, hospitality is for believers. Maybe throw in one or two non believers to keep us salty, and that's it. Great, fine, we are serving God with our house. And maybe that's not a bad thing, but if feels a lot like blessing people who are already blessed. We had people over last night and all I could think was, "What if this many christians, the 20 of us that had gathered DID something? What if instead of watching a Star Wars movie, we prayed for the world, went out and gave from our abundance, what if we cared more to bless those who have nothing than to sit together and become distracted from the destruction happening outside our door."
Am I too radicle? Am I taking this too far? Didn't Jesus command a day of Sabbath? Aren't we allowed to rest together and just watch a movie? (Is watching a movie rest or is being in His presence intentionally rest?)
Well think about this: We were together from about 8pm-12pm, that's about 4 hours. 60 minutes times 4 = 240 minutes. 60 seconds in every minute would be 14,400 seconds we spent together. Divided by the 1 person every 3.6 seconds. 4,000 people died from hunger last night while we were watching our movie.
That is not to guilt or to shame anyone. I am merely trying to say that there is need in this world and as the Church we need start caring. As the next generation we need to start caring. As humans we have to care. Intentionality and prayer need to characterize our communities. We will truly stand by and let the world die if we don't start helping. Our passivity is hurting people and is keeping the Gospel from going out. People need Jesus more than food or water. But Jesus also told us to feed people.
I for one want to respond to this call. But before I can keep others from dying, I first my die. I must die to my desires, my lusts, and I must die to the way that I clench my fists around the things I want in this physical world. I hold on so tightly. But I must die daily, or this gospel, this healing, this Truth, it will never survive. And in turn, I and many more will not as well.
It is in His blood, through his Spirit, and for His glory that I begin this journey, It's bound to be bumpy, raw, and hard, but if you're interested, feel free to join,
1 Cor 6:19-20 "You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Less About College, More About Learning
Today, Sunday, August 30th, is the last day of my year off from school; I affectionately call it my Sabbath year. You can call it whatever you want to though.
Last Friday I kept yelling "It's the last day of summer!!!!" (And I do mean to tell you I was yelling.) Well, my poor roommates just didn't know what to make of me every time I yelled it. Just for the record, I don't count weekends as the summer because you get those during the school year anyways, so Friday was in fact the last day of summer.
The funny looks my roommates kept giving me last Friday made me self conscious, thus leading me to really analyze exactly why I was taking it so hard that summer is over. I realized that it has more to do with the fact that this year of Sabbath is over than anything else. It's over! The work is beginning and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Thinking about this next year becomes really depressing really quickly because my mind goes into this thing where I picture myself toiling and laboring and never again finding respite. I see myself tired and worn, wrinkled and hunched over, probably mentally slipping from the stress and fatigue. It all starts tomorrow and won't end until retirement (if there is even a retirement for me...). It's so dramatic, but I'm a girl so that's just how my mind works. We all know that's not realistic, but I can get there pretty quickly depending on the day. The last day of summer was the perfect day to get there too.
But look, I was thinking about my time in Honduras. That was by no means a "Sabbath." It was straight work and labor. I actually was tired and worn most days, but I have not felt so wholly alive as I did working in that ministry. Every day God breathed life into me in a way that transcends words. God does that still now, but in a much less profound and loud way, He does it in more of an intimate whisper, and I love that too.
So here is what I have come to conclude. I believe that God created me for a specific ministry. I love that ministry and I find every chance I can to participate in it right where I am, and The Lord opens doors to it even as I am single and in college. But, there is a limited amount I can be involved in it because of the commitment I have to make to college.
I see college as preparation, but not my strong suit. It wears me out in a way that isn't like the orphanage. It feels like walking up stream, against the current, while working in my gifts can feel more like walking down stream -- still challenging, but natural and with the flow. But, I think that God has asked me to walk through college, against my natural flow, despite the challenge it is to me. It's a special flavor of sanctification He is offering.
There may at any one time in my life a few things that come less naturally to me even if, Lord willing, I get to put my time and energy into ministry that I love. It is realistic to think that I will face challenges that are as difficult as college, most likely more difficult. It is safe to assume that someday I'll have to do things that I dislike more than college. Most likely I'll have to walk against the current of who I am to get something done that needs to be done and it'll make college look like my domain.
You know what I'm thinking, I'm thinking maybe this season is about finding contentment and joy when that happens, and figuring out how to thrive despite it.
Last Friday I kept yelling "It's the last day of summer!!!!" (And I do mean to tell you I was yelling.) Well, my poor roommates just didn't know what to make of me every time I yelled it. Just for the record, I don't count weekends as the summer because you get those during the school year anyways, so Friday was in fact the last day of summer.
The funny looks my roommates kept giving me last Friday made me self conscious, thus leading me to really analyze exactly why I was taking it so hard that summer is over. I realized that it has more to do with the fact that this year of Sabbath is over than anything else. It's over! The work is beginning and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Thinking about this next year becomes really depressing really quickly because my mind goes into this thing where I picture myself toiling and laboring and never again finding respite. I see myself tired and worn, wrinkled and hunched over, probably mentally slipping from the stress and fatigue. It all starts tomorrow and won't end until retirement (if there is even a retirement for me...). It's so dramatic, but I'm a girl so that's just how my mind works. We all know that's not realistic, but I can get there pretty quickly depending on the day. The last day of summer was the perfect day to get there too.
But look, I was thinking about my time in Honduras. That was by no means a "Sabbath." It was straight work and labor. I actually was tired and worn most days, but I have not felt so wholly alive as I did working in that ministry. Every day God breathed life into me in a way that transcends words. God does that still now, but in a much less profound and loud way, He does it in more of an intimate whisper, and I love that too.
So here is what I have come to conclude. I believe that God created me for a specific ministry. I love that ministry and I find every chance I can to participate in it right where I am, and The Lord opens doors to it even as I am single and in college. But, there is a limited amount I can be involved in it because of the commitment I have to make to college.
I see college as preparation, but not my strong suit. It wears me out in a way that isn't like the orphanage. It feels like walking up stream, against the current, while working in my gifts can feel more like walking down stream -- still challenging, but natural and with the flow. But, I think that God has asked me to walk through college, against my natural flow, despite the challenge it is to me. It's a special flavor of sanctification He is offering.
There may at any one time in my life a few things that come less naturally to me even if, Lord willing, I get to put my time and energy into ministry that I love. It is realistic to think that I will face challenges that are as difficult as college, most likely more difficult. It is safe to assume that someday I'll have to do things that I dislike more than college. Most likely I'll have to walk against the current of who I am to get something done that needs to be done and it'll make college look like my domain.
You know what I'm thinking, I'm thinking maybe this season is about finding contentment and joy when that happens, and figuring out how to thrive despite it.
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
The Confirmation of Peaceful Mornings
I have officially arrived in Sacramento and am living with my four roommates, it's been really fun so far. I won't lie though, I was not excited to move. I knew that moving meant rent, school, and a job. All those things mean lots of money and work. I also am coming off the heels of the biggest trips of my life, ten months away from home. I only got to sit down once with lots of my closest friends during the time I was home. It was so hard to leave my family and closest friends again after being gone for so long. Moving away from home was hard on so many levels I can't even really explain it all the way.
I was telling my lovely mentor about this, about my total breakdown with my parents, about the whole shabang, and she asked (an absolutely valid question) "Is this really what God has for you? Are you sure that Sacramento is where He's calling you?" (I am so glad I have people in my life asking me questions like this!)
It didn't take but a moment to respond. I have believe that God was calling me up to Sacramento for a while now. I don't know why, but I am convinced He is. Even if it sucks the whole time (which it hasn't so far), He is. He has worked out every detail and every big plan and I believe that He is opening doors as confirmation. So I told her that. I told her all the reasons why I knew this is where He would have me for this season, and just telling her helped remind me in a fresh way.
But you know what happened the first morning here? I got up and made a cup of coffee (the coffee my mentor bought me), and I sat down with the Bible, and it was refreshing. It was peaceful. It was calm. It almost felt like it did when I was in Costa Rica.
I don't know about you, but when I am out of God's will I feel off. Like my outfits don't match and my hair looks bad and absolutely my quiet times are not peaceful. I usually spend the whole time trying to justify how my actions and situation are okay and I don't really have the presence of heart or mind to stop and be with the Lord. In a way I hide (are we all not daughters of Eve?). But these few mornings I have had here have been peaceful. There has been no hiding, no excuses. I have merely curled up on the corner of the couch and sat with my best friend enjoying His Word and the knowledge that He has never left me, never forsaken me, and is with me.
That right there is confirmation. Beyond the open doors and the circumstances, peace and confidence that minister to your soul is an amazing confirmation of His will.
I was telling my lovely mentor about this, about my total breakdown with my parents, about the whole shabang, and she asked (an absolutely valid question) "Is this really what God has for you? Are you sure that Sacramento is where He's calling you?" (I am so glad I have people in my life asking me questions like this!)
It didn't take but a moment to respond. I have believe that God was calling me up to Sacramento for a while now. I don't know why, but I am convinced He is. Even if it sucks the whole time (which it hasn't so far), He is. He has worked out every detail and every big plan and I believe that He is opening doors as confirmation. So I told her that. I told her all the reasons why I knew this is where He would have me for this season, and just telling her helped remind me in a fresh way.
But you know what happened the first morning here? I got up and made a cup of coffee (the coffee my mentor bought me), and I sat down with the Bible, and it was refreshing. It was peaceful. It was calm. It almost felt like it did when I was in Costa Rica.
I don't know about you, but when I am out of God's will I feel off. Like my outfits don't match and my hair looks bad and absolutely my quiet times are not peaceful. I usually spend the whole time trying to justify how my actions and situation are okay and I don't really have the presence of heart or mind to stop and be with the Lord. In a way I hide (are we all not daughters of Eve?). But these few mornings I have had here have been peaceful. There has been no hiding, no excuses. I have merely curled up on the corner of the couch and sat with my best friend enjoying His Word and the knowledge that He has never left me, never forsaken me, and is with me.
That right there is confirmation. Beyond the open doors and the circumstances, peace and confidence that minister to your soul is an amazing confirmation of His will.
Sunday, June 21, 2015
If I'm Being Totally Honest...
If I am being totally honest I would tell you that I have been putting off writing my last blog about Central America for some time now. Like three weeks and a day actually. Who wants to write the closure blog for one of the best experiences life has offered? No one, that's who.
If I'm being totally honest, last night I looked at pictures from the orphanage and with a sheen of tears thanked God for the clear calling I have to Sacramento. Not because I don't want to go back to Honduras, but because I want to go back so badly, that a clear calling is what I need to keep me stateside.
I am home, have been for the past three weeks, and I am finally slowing down. For the fist three weeks of being home I ran so fast it was crazy. I went from a 25mph lifestyle in Costa Rica to a 80mph lifestyle coming home. But now I am slowing again and the problem with slowing is that it leaves time to think and when before I didn't miss Central America, I now have the time to miss it. Maybe that is why Americans go so dang fast all day, all week, all year. They just don't want to deal with their crap and miss those who are missed.
So what are my big takeaways from the year? If I am being totally honest they have nothing to do with the language, the classes, the Biblical principles. I loved those things, I miss the classes and speaking Spanish. But my big takeaway was this: I found the missing part of my relationship with God. My first semester I had these deep, deep, unanswerable questions and a thirst that could not be quenched by and source. In Honduras I found the answers to my questions in the I AM that created, redeemed, formed, and loves me (Isaiah 43). My second semester I learned how to be in a position to be quenched by the Living Water that has become my satisfaction in a way that is deeper that I can even understand.
So if I am being totally honest (which I am not always) I do miss it. I miss my friends, I miss the understanding that we held as we conversed in a vernacular that was common to our community. I miss my boys at the orphanage and I miss the stillness of my school campus. But I have been satisfied daily by my Lord Jesus Christ and He is enough. So I am good. I am really good.
In August I move to start a program at Sacramento State University where I will study Family Education. It is basically the education to be a Home Ec teacher. After graduating, I hope to use my degree to help moms and children in the social system who need love and education.
My year in Central America is over. It was amazing, challenging, deep, lovely, and I'll cherish it forever. I am so thankful that it happened. And, knowing God, this next year has the potential to be just. as. amazing. So, here we go!
If I'm being totally honest, last night I looked at pictures from the orphanage and with a sheen of tears thanked God for the clear calling I have to Sacramento. Not because I don't want to go back to Honduras, but because I want to go back so badly, that a clear calling is what I need to keep me stateside.
I am home, have been for the past three weeks, and I am finally slowing down. For the fist three weeks of being home I ran so fast it was crazy. I went from a 25mph lifestyle in Costa Rica to a 80mph lifestyle coming home. But now I am slowing again and the problem with slowing is that it leaves time to think and when before I didn't miss Central America, I now have the time to miss it. Maybe that is why Americans go so dang fast all day, all week, all year. They just don't want to deal with their crap and miss those who are missed.
So what are my big takeaways from the year? If I am being totally honest they have nothing to do with the language, the classes, the Biblical principles. I loved those things, I miss the classes and speaking Spanish. But my big takeaway was this: I found the missing part of my relationship with God. My first semester I had these deep, deep, unanswerable questions and a thirst that could not be quenched by and source. In Honduras I found the answers to my questions in the I AM that created, redeemed, formed, and loves me (Isaiah 43). My second semester I learned how to be in a position to be quenched by the Living Water that has become my satisfaction in a way that is deeper that I can even understand.
So if I am being totally honest (which I am not always) I do miss it. I miss my friends, I miss the understanding that we held as we conversed in a vernacular that was common to our community. I miss my boys at the orphanage and I miss the stillness of my school campus. But I have been satisfied daily by my Lord Jesus Christ and He is enough. So I am good. I am really good.
In August I move to start a program at Sacramento State University where I will study Family Education. It is basically the education to be a Home Ec teacher. After graduating, I hope to use my degree to help moms and children in the social system who need love and education.
My year in Central America is over. It was amazing, challenging, deep, lovely, and I'll cherish it forever. I am so thankful that it happened. And, knowing God, this next year has the potential to be just. as. amazing. So, here we go!
Pura Vida, slacklining, fellowship, Grant.
Emily (always there to process friend), Kayce (forever friend)
Pepito, the only kid I have seen forget his own name.
Osman, He's the closest I have seen to a Morey. He really should be in my family. If only I had the means...
Faithful friend. Miranda Rooms Adams. I miss her.
Kayce, Abi, Erin.
Texas, Germany, California.
Truest of friends.
Thursday, April 30, 2015
LOL... as in Lots of Learning
This past season has been filled with lots of learning for me. From amazing classes on Psalms and world missions to the variety of people I'm living with, God has a lot to teach me. To recap a little, shortly after my birthday I went to Panama. The trip was nice, but not great (lack of drinking water and water in general). I can't really complain though because I can just hear you saying "Erin, from the view of my computer, any trip to an island in Panama sounds good." So I'll just leave that alone and move onto the other things going on in life ;)
Tom (our director) taught a very real and encouraging class on Psalms over the course of this month between guest lectures and trips. I was blessed so much by his class and the biblical principles that he shared. The Psalms are one of those books you love or don't. And by don't I mean you like proverbs (not my favorite book which isn't a surprise). The psalms are artistic and can express deep parts of our being that we didn't even know were there.
Here is a little portion from the essay I wrote on the Psalms:
Tom (our director) taught a very real and encouraging class on Psalms over the course of this month between guest lectures and trips. I was blessed so much by his class and the biblical principles that he shared. The Psalms are one of those books you love or don't. And by don't I mean you like proverbs (not my favorite book which isn't a surprise). The psalms are artistic and can express deep parts of our being that we didn't even know were there.
Here is a little portion from the essay I wrote on the Psalms:
God will not abandon
me in my time of need. Do you believe it? I mean really believe it? I think
that sometimes we think that this isn't abandonment unless it gets to a certain point,
then He must have abandoned us. Psalm 46 says, “God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth
gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its
waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.” This to me
sounds like the end, it sounds like past the point that God would still be on
my side, fighting for me, on my team. It sometimes feels
like things get so far in the world that the only logical conclusion is that
God has abandoned us. When Sarah hadn’t had her baby at 100 y/o, did that feel
like abandonment? When the nation of Egypt was pursuing Moses after the long
trial of finally leaving Egypt, did that feel like abandonment? Was there that
moment that these famous characters looked to heaven and just threw up their
hands wondering if God was totally mad? I think that they felt their situations
were totally beyond what God had originally planned and that He had lost it. He
had abandoned them. I can understand this too. I would have had a moment where
I thought the same thing. But the Psalmist has something different to say about
that. He says that even when it’s all gone wrong. Even on the deathbed, even at
the funeral where cancer won, even then, He is our refuge and strength. He is
helping is, He is active, and His plan is prevailing.
How can you make an application to this point without
reading on is Psalm 46? “Be still and know that I am God.” Exhale. God will not
abandon me in my time of need and I need just to be still? Be still. Be still. How do I do that when the
world is a whirlwind around me, there is tragedy, earthquakes are killing
thousands, and families are being shattered? How can I apply the knowledge and
hope that He is with me in that? By being still; by letting Him fight for me;
by abiding. Now that may be a biblical principle on its own, but more than
anything I call that an application – it’s an action for me to take. I’ll take
that and be glad that with every other religion people are working for a god to be for them, but my God is for me through His action, His death, and He asks only that I am still
and let Him be who He is – God.
I love the Psalms. So raw and real.
And, now we are going on a missions trip (conveniently right after our class on world missions) and I am very excited. To all who were praying, we exceeded our budget by 2k and will be prayerfully using the excess for the Kingdom. It is an exciting trip where our team has the opportunity to go into schools and speak openly about our relationship with The Lord. In my prayers leading up to this trip, I was struck with Psalm 51:10-12,
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.
This is my prayer for this trip, that God will renew me and fill me with His Spirit. That as I go I will overflow with the joy of the salvation He has given me. I think growing up in the church we forget how wonderful His salvation is. How joyous it is to have it, and how people are just waiting to be pulled out of the mire and put on solid ground again. I need to be restored to the joy of His salvation! And, it is only with a willing spirit that He can use me. I want to be willing every moment on this trip. Another lesson to learn for me, be willing!
So, that's the big stuff I guess. I thought there was more, but I guess life is as boring as I thought!
Please pray for this trip that the gospel will go forth and that all will stay healthy, safe, and flexible!
Erin
PS I am back in California one month from today, May30th! Can't wait to see you all, it's been a long 9 months.
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