LOL... as in Lots of Learning

This past season has been filled with lots of learning for me. From amazing classes on Psalms and world missions to the variety of people I'm living with, God has a lot to teach me. To recap a little, shortly after my birthday I went to Panama. The trip was nice, but not great (lack of drinking water and water in general). I can't really complain though because I can just hear you saying "Erin, from the view of my computer, any trip to an island in Panama sounds good." So I'll just leave that alone and move onto the other things going on in life ;)

Tom (our director) taught a very real and encouraging class on Psalms over the course of this month between guest lectures and trips. I was blessed so much by his class and the biblical principles that he shared. The Psalms are one of those books you love or don't. And by don't I mean you like proverbs (not my favorite book which isn't a surprise). The psalms are artistic and can express deep parts of our being that we didn't even know were there.
Here is a little portion from the essay I wrote on the Psalms:

God will not abandon me in my time of need. Do you believe it? I mean really believe it? I think that sometimes we think that this isn't abandonment unless it gets to a certain point, then He must have abandoned us. Psalm 46 says, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.” This to me sounds like the end, it sounds like past the point that God would still be on my side, fighting for me, on my team. It sometimes feels like things get so far in the world that the only logical conclusion is that God has abandoned us. When Sarah hadn’t had her baby at 100 y/o, did that feel like abandonment? When the nation of Egypt was pursuing Moses after the long trial of finally leaving Egypt, did that feel like abandonment? Was there that moment that these famous characters looked to heaven and just threw up their hands wondering if God was totally mad? I think that they felt their situations were totally beyond what God had originally planned and that He had lost it. He had abandoned them. I can understand this too. I would have had a moment where I thought the same thing. But the Psalmist has something different to say about that. He says that even when it’s all gone wrong. Even on the deathbed, even at the funeral where cancer won, even then, He is our refuge and strength. He is helping is, He is active, and His plan is prevailing.

How can you make an application to this point without reading on is Psalm 46? “Be still and know that I am God.” Exhale. God will not abandon me in my time of need and I need just to be still?  Be still. Be still. How do I do that when the world is a whirlwind around me, there is tragedy, earthquakes are killing thousands, and families are being shattered? How can I apply the knowledge and hope that He is with me in that? By being still; by letting Him fight for me; by abiding. Now that may be a biblical principle on its own, but more than anything I call that an application – it’s an action for me to take. I’ll take that and be glad that with every other religion people are working for a god to be for them, but my God is for me through His action, His death, and He asks only that I am still and let Him be who He is – God.

I love the Psalms. So raw and real. 

And, now we are going on a missions trip (conveniently right after our class on world missions) and I am very excited. To all who were praying, we exceeded our budget by 2k and will be prayerfully using the excess for the Kingdom. It is an exciting trip where our team has the opportunity to go into schools and speak openly about our relationship with The Lord. In my prayers leading up to this trip, I was struck with Psalm 51:10-12, 

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

    and renew a right spirit within me.

 Cast me not away from your presence,

    and take not your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation,

    and uphold me with a willing spirit.

This is my prayer for this trip, that God will renew me and fill me with His Spirit. That as I go I will overflow with the joy of the salvation He has given me. I think growing up in the church we forget how wonderful His salvation is. How joyous it is to have it, and how people are just waiting to be pulled out of the mire and put on solid ground again. I need to be restored to the joy of His salvation! And, it is only with a willing spirit that He can use me. I want to be willing every moment on this trip. Another lesson to learn for me, be willing! 

So, that's the big stuff I guess. I thought there was more, but I guess life is as boring as I thought! 

Please pray for this trip that the gospel will go forth and that all will stay healthy, safe, and flexible! 

Erin

PS I am back in California one month from today, May30th! Can't wait to see you all, it's been a long 9 months.