All I Have

Lately I have been confronted with poverty. Partly through my job, partly through living in Sacramento, and partly from my education and the books I have been picking up here and there (Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker is a must read). It has left me analyzing many of my decisions and thoughts on living in America and more importantly how I choose to live while I'm here.

If you have been around me at all in the past few days, you have heard me spew these few statistics that are sobering and humbling:

1. 68.8% of adults in the U.S. are overweight or obese. 

2. 805 million people struggle with hunger every day and 2.6 million children die as a result of hunger every year.
(I found these statistics on google's search page)
3. Every 3.6 seconds someone dies of hunger (a statistic from Interrupted)

Food is my focus in all of this, I am not even going to start in on the preventable diseases, the lack of vaccines, the lack of clean drinking water, all these things that the Third World deals with every day. No, I am going to simply look at how food relates to the world, maybe because mostly I understand the world in the context of food and family. 

So, like I said, I have been thinking a lot about food in America and how we abuse it then look on as the world is starving. Literally. I was even thinking about it today as I drove to the grocery store to get food for this week. I thought basics. Potatoes, beans, veggies, no need to go overboard. Hey, if I had money left over I may even send it to the poor. Good thought, right? 

So I was just about to the store and I saw a man with a sign that said something to the effect of "HUNGRY." I rolled down my window and offered him a granola bar that I had and said, "This is all I  have, would you like it?"

There, right there, this is my problem. I was on my way to buy more than enough food for myself and I had the nerve to tell this man that my crumbled granola snack was all that I had. That was not all that I had. 

I am so glad that God does not treat me in this fashion. He does not look around, find the leftover blessings, then offer them to me and say,"I know you needed more, Erin, but this was all I had." No, He goes so far above and beyond that with me. He lavished His love and blessings upon me. Then He asks me to go, to feed His lambs, to be His hands and feet, to touch and love the least of these. 

I cannot, as of right now, go to the parts of the world that we associate with hunger, like the catch all of Africa. But there is hunger all around me, literally and spiritually. So I have this larger than life dream in my heart to stop shielding my eyes from the pain and hurt and hunger all around me. I mean that literally, because I'm starting to think that God may want me to actually feed people who are hungry. I'm starting to think that I will lose out on the real Gospel and real Jesus if I don't start being around the people Jesus was around when He was on earth. And really, I'm starting to take more seriously the thought that God may be holding me accountable to the knowledge and resources He stewarded to me, and I know that I'm not doing a good enough job.

When my roommates and I moved into our house we were thinking it could be a place of hospitality. In other words, fellowship. In my western worldview, hospitality is for believers. Maybe throw in one or two non believers to keep us salty, and that's it. Great, fine, we are serving God with our house. And maybe that's not a bad thing, but if feels a lot like blessing people who are already blessed. We had people over last night and all I could think was, "What if this many christians, the 20 of us that had gathered DID something? What if instead of watching a Star Wars movie, we prayed for the world, went out and gave from our abundance, what if we cared more to bless those who have nothing than to sit together and become distracted from the destruction happening outside our door."

Am I too radicle? Am I taking this too far? Didn't Jesus command a day of Sabbath? Aren't we allowed to rest together and just watch a movie? (Is watching a movie rest or is being in His presence intentionally rest?)

Well think about this: We were together from about 8pm-12pm, that's about 4 hours. 60 minutes times 4 = 240 minutes. 60 seconds in every minute would be 14,400 seconds we spent together. Divided by the 1 person every 3.6 seconds. 4,000 people died  from hunger last night while we were watching our movie.

That is not to guilt or to shame anyone. I am merely trying to say that there is need in this world and as the Church we need start caring. As the next generation we need to start caring. As humans we have to care. Intentionality and prayer need to characterize our communities. We will truly stand by and let the world die if we don't start helping. Our passivity is hurting people and is keeping the Gospel from going out. People need Jesus more than food or water. But Jesus also told us to feed people.

I for one want to respond to this call. But before I can keep others from dying, I first my die. I must die to my desires, my lusts, and I must die to the way that I clench my fists around the things I want in this physical world. I hold on so tightly. But I must die daily, or this gospel, this healing, this Truth, it will never survive. And in turn, I and many more will not as well. 

It is in His blood, through his Spirit, and for His glory that I begin this journey, It's bound to be bumpy, raw, and hard, but if you're interested, feel free to join, 

1 Cor 6:19-20 "You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." 

Less About College, More About Learning

Today, Sunday, August 30th, is the last day of my year off from school; I affectionately call it my Sabbath year. You can call it whatever you want to though.

Last Friday I kept yelling "It's the last day of summer!!!!" (And I do mean to tell you I was yelling.) Well, my poor roommates just didn't know what to make of me every time I yelled it. Just for the record, I don't count weekends as the summer because you get those during the school year anyways, so Friday was in fact the last day of summer.

The funny looks my roommates kept giving me last Friday made me self conscious, thus leading me to really analyze exactly why I was taking it so hard that summer is over. I realized that it has more to do with the fact that this year of Sabbath is over than anything else. It's over! The work is beginning and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Thinking about this next year becomes really depressing really quickly because my mind goes into this thing where I picture myself toiling and laboring and never again finding respite. I see myself tired and worn, wrinkled and hunched over, probably mentally slipping from the stress and fatigue. It all starts tomorrow and won't end until retirement (if there is even a retirement for me...). It's so dramatic, but I'm a girl so that's just how my mind works. We all know that's not realistic, but I can get there pretty quickly depending on the day. The last day of summer was the perfect day to get there too.

But look, I was thinking about my time in Honduras. That was by no means a "Sabbath." It was straight work and labor. I actually was tired and worn most days, but I have not felt so wholly alive as I did working in that ministry. Every day God breathed life into me in a way that transcends words. God does that still now, but in a much less profound and loud way, He does it in more of an intimate whisper, and I love that too.

So here is what I have come to conclude. I believe that God created me for a specific ministry. I love that ministry and I find every chance I can to participate in it right where I am, and The Lord opens doors to it even as I am single and in college. But, there is a limited amount I can be involved in it because of the commitment I have to make to college.

I see college as preparation, but not my strong suit. It wears me out in a way that isn't like the orphanage. It feels like walking up stream, against the current, while working in my gifts can feel more like walking down stream -- still challenging, but natural and with the flow. But, I think that God has asked me to walk through college, against my natural flow, despite the challenge it is to me. It's a special flavor of sanctification He is offering.

There may at any one time in my life a few things that come less naturally to me even if, Lord willing, I get to put my time and energy into ministry that I love. It is realistic to think that I will face challenges that are as difficult as college, most likely more difficult. It is safe to assume that someday  I'll have to do things that I dislike more than college. Most likely I'll have to walk against the current of who I am to get something done that needs to be done and it'll make college look like my domain.

You know what I'm thinking, I'm thinking maybe this season is about finding contentment and joy when that happens, and figuring out how to thrive despite it.

The Confirmation of Peaceful Mornings

I have officially arrived in Sacramento and am living with my four roommates, it's been really fun so far. I won't lie though, I was not excited to move. I knew that moving meant rent, school, and a job. All those things mean lots of money and work. I also am coming off the heels of the biggest trips of my life, ten months away from home. I only got to sit down once with lots of my closest friends during the time I was home. It was so hard to leave my family and closest friends again after being gone for so long. Moving away from home was hard on so many levels I can't even really explain it all the way.

I was telling my lovely mentor about this, about my total breakdown with my parents, about the whole shabang, and she asked (an absolutely valid question) "Is this really what God has for you? Are you sure that Sacramento is where He's calling you?" (I am so glad I have people in my life asking me questions like this!)

It didn't take but a moment to respond. I have believe that God was calling me up to Sacramento for a while now. I don't know why, but I am convinced He is. Even if it sucks the whole time (which it hasn't so far), He is. He has worked out every detail and every big plan and I believe that He is opening doors as confirmation. So I told her that. I told her all the reasons why I knew this is where He would have me for this season, and just telling her helped remind me in a fresh way.

But you know what happened the first morning here? I got up and made a cup of coffee (the coffee my mentor bought me),  and I sat down with the Bible, and it was refreshing. It was peaceful. It was calm. It almost felt like it did when I was in Costa Rica.

I don't know about you, but when I am out of God's will I feel off. Like my outfits don't match and my hair looks bad and absolutely my quiet times are not peaceful. I usually spend the whole time trying to justify how my actions and situation are okay and I don't really have the presence of heart or mind to stop and be with the Lord. In a way I hide (are we all not daughters of Eve?). But these few mornings I have had here have been peaceful. There has been no hiding, no excuses. I have merely curled up on the corner of the couch and sat with my best friend enjoying His Word and the knowledge that He has never left me, never forsaken me, and is with me.

That right there is confirmation. Beyond the open doors and the circumstances, peace and confidence that minister to your soul is an amazing confirmation of His will.

If I'm Being Totally Honest...

If I am being totally honest I would tell you that I have been putting off writing my last blog about Central America for some time now. Like three weeks and a day actually. Who wants to write the closure blog for one of the best experiences life has offered? No one, that's who.

If I'm being totally honest, last night I looked at pictures from the orphanage and with a sheen of tears thanked God for the clear calling I have to Sacramento. Not because I don't want to go back to Honduras, but because I want to go back so badly, that a clear calling is what I need to keep me stateside.

I am home, have been for the past three weeks, and I am finally slowing down. For the fist three weeks of being home I ran so fast it was crazy. I went from a 25mph lifestyle in Costa Rica to a 80mph lifestyle coming home. But now I am slowing again and the problem with slowing is that it leaves time to think and when before I didn't miss Central America, I now have the time to miss it. Maybe that is why Americans go so dang fast all day, all week, all year. They just don't want to deal with their crap and miss those who are missed.

So what are my big takeaways from the year? If I am being totally honest they have nothing to do with the language, the classes, the Biblical principles. I loved those things, I miss the classes and speaking Spanish. But my big takeaway was this: I found the missing part of my relationship with God. My first semester I had these deep, deep, unanswerable questions and a thirst that could not be quenched by and source. In Honduras I found the answers to my questions in the I AM that created, redeemed, formed, and loves me (Isaiah 43). My second semester I learned how to be in a position to be quenched by the Living Water that has become my satisfaction in a way that is deeper that I can even understand.

So if I am being totally honest (which I am not always) I do miss it. I miss my friends, I miss the understanding that we held as we conversed in a vernacular that was common to our community. I miss my boys at the orphanage and I miss the stillness of my school campus. But I have been satisfied daily by my Lord Jesus Christ and He is enough. So I am good. I am really good.

In August I move to start a program at Sacramento State University where I will study Family Education. It is basically the education to be a Home Ec teacher. After graduating, I hope to use my degree to help moms and children in the social system who need love and education.

My year in Central America is over. It was amazing, challenging, deep, lovely, and I'll cherish it forever. I am so thankful that it happened. And, knowing God, this next year has the potential to be just. as. amazing. So, here we go!

Pura Vida, slacklining, fellowship, Grant. 

Emily (always there to process friend), Kayce (forever friend)

Pepito, the only kid I have seen forget his own name. 

Osman, He's the closest I have seen to a Morey. He really should be in my family. If only I had the means...

Faithful friend. Miranda Rooms Adams. I miss her. 

Kayce, Abi, Erin. 

Texas, Germany, California.

Truest of friends. 

LOL... as in Lots of Learning

This past season has been filled with lots of learning for me. From amazing classes on Psalms and world missions to the variety of people I'm living with, God has a lot to teach me. To recap a little, shortly after my birthday I went to Panama. The trip was nice, but not great (lack of drinking water and water in general). I can't really complain though because I can just hear you saying "Erin, from the view of my computer, any trip to an island in Panama sounds good." So I'll just leave that alone and move onto the other things going on in life ;)

Tom (our director) taught a very real and encouraging class on Psalms over the course of this month between guest lectures and trips. I was blessed so much by his class and the biblical principles that he shared. The Psalms are one of those books you love or don't. And by don't I mean you like proverbs (not my favorite book which isn't a surprise). The psalms are artistic and can express deep parts of our being that we didn't even know were there.
Here is a little portion from the essay I wrote on the Psalms:

God will not abandon me in my time of need. Do you believe it? I mean really believe it? I think that sometimes we think that this isn't abandonment unless it gets to a certain point, then He must have abandoned us. Psalm 46 says, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.” This to me sounds like the end, it sounds like past the point that God would still be on my side, fighting for me, on my team. It sometimes feels like things get so far in the world that the only logical conclusion is that God has abandoned us. When Sarah hadn’t had her baby at 100 y/o, did that feel like abandonment? When the nation of Egypt was pursuing Moses after the long trial of finally leaving Egypt, did that feel like abandonment? Was there that moment that these famous characters looked to heaven and just threw up their hands wondering if God was totally mad? I think that they felt their situations were totally beyond what God had originally planned and that He had lost it. He had abandoned them. I can understand this too. I would have had a moment where I thought the same thing. But the Psalmist has something different to say about that. He says that even when it’s all gone wrong. Even on the deathbed, even at the funeral where cancer won, even then, He is our refuge and strength. He is helping is, He is active, and His plan is prevailing.

How can you make an application to this point without reading on is Psalm 46? “Be still and know that I am God.” Exhale. God will not abandon me in my time of need and I need just to be still?  Be still. Be still. How do I do that when the world is a whirlwind around me, there is tragedy, earthquakes are killing thousands, and families are being shattered? How can I apply the knowledge and hope that He is with me in that? By being still; by letting Him fight for me; by abiding. Now that may be a biblical principle on its own, but more than anything I call that an application – it’s an action for me to take. I’ll take that and be glad that with every other religion people are working for a god to be for them, but my God is for me through His action, His death, and He asks only that I am still and let Him be who He is – God.

I love the Psalms. So raw and real. 

And, now we are going on a missions trip (conveniently right after our class on world missions) and I am very excited. To all who were praying, we exceeded our budget by 2k and will be prayerfully using the excess for the Kingdom. It is an exciting trip where our team has the opportunity to go into schools and speak openly about our relationship with The Lord. In my prayers leading up to this trip, I was struck with Psalm 51:10-12, 

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

    and renew a right spirit within me.

 Cast me not away from your presence,

    and take not your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation,

    and uphold me with a willing spirit.

This is my prayer for this trip, that God will renew me and fill me with His Spirit. That as I go I will overflow with the joy of the salvation He has given me. I think growing up in the church we forget how wonderful His salvation is. How joyous it is to have it, and how people are just waiting to be pulled out of the mire and put on solid ground again. I need to be restored to the joy of His salvation! And, it is only with a willing spirit that He can use me. I want to be willing every moment on this trip. Another lesson to learn for me, be willing! 

So, that's the big stuff I guess. I thought there was more, but I guess life is as boring as I thought! 

Please pray for this trip that the gospel will go forth and that all will stay healthy, safe, and flexible! 

Erin

PS I am back in California one month from today, May30th! Can't wait to see you all, it's been a long 9 months.  

My A-Typical 21st Birthday

Well, the birthday festivities have come and gone (for the most part, though I think that the mail has yet to be retrieved). I had the most wonderful day ever, possibly being the best birthday ever.

It all started the day before (April 1^st) when I was asked out to lunch by Mrs. Janet. She Kayce, Abi, Doro, and me to a lovely little place in Coronado right near school. We ate paninis and drank mint lemonade and had fun talking. Sometimes it’s nice to just go out and eat something special. So, we did. Then, Janet surprised me with birthday cake! It was so fun for the four of us to eat three (BIG) pieces of cake and feel no regret about it. I mean that’s what birthdays are for, right?

Dinner came and went and we were all sitting painting and enjoying the evening together when my (awesome) roommate wanted to go to Janet and Marco’s house to say bye (she was leaving for 10 days that night). So, we all ran over there and I was surprised that actually most of the kids from school were there. Weird! But, I just kept thinking that it was probably a normal thing. Then, because we were all crowded into the kitchen Janet suggested we go to the living room. All of a sudden there was cake and everyone was yelling “SURPRISE!!!” They totally got me! There was cake and ice cream and all sorts of good things!! My socks were blown off because I have never been surprised for my birthday. Ever.

Well, the evening ended with more water colors and I slept with little anticipation for the next day. I mean they had done well, but what else could there be? How wrong was I? First, a birthday card from Miranda, roomie of the year. Then I was shocked because all down the windows of the dorm and even to the door to the dining room was window art celebrating me. I was surprised that the girls would stay  up to do that for me. They have to be the best friends a girl can have. Abi gave me German chocolate and flowers that morning and Marc gave me a box of French candies. Cori gave me a totally Portland journal that I love. The German girls gave me coffee and chocolate. Neena made me some pumpkin muffins. Ricki bought me a t-shirt from Nicaragua. The list goes on and it – each making me feel very loved.

The day of my birthday Abi, Kayce and I went to Arleen’s house (a woman from my Bible study) and Arleen had asked me what recipes I would like to make and bought all the ingredients to make them. If you know me, you know that this is like the best gift in the world. We spent the day baking, talking, eating, and talking more. It was a huge blessing for us all. I thought, “I have arrived. It does not get better than this.”

Mango downside cake. It's awesome. Thanks Martha. 

Wrong.

Dinner the night of my birthday had a sponsor (this too was a surprise). My parents had paid to have a nice dinner! They had asked them to make spaghetti with wine in the sauce (my first not-drink), they sent money for bread, and a big sassy salad. It was so good and everyone enjoyed the evening. And, one more surprise, more chocolate for the birthday girl.

All in all, I felt like it was two days of blessing after blessing. I couldn't imagine all that my friends would do for me and each surprise was just that, a surprise to me! I had always thought I would have that drink that I saved my whole life on my 21^st birthday, but this was even better. That’s the way God likes to work in our lives I think. We wait for something for years and years thinking “it’s going to be so awesome when this happens,” expecting in our minds exactly how it’ll play out. Then God responds with, “it’ll be better than awesome, but get ready because it can only be that way if you let me change your plans a little.”

What is God trying to change in your life? Is there any chance that what He changes it to could be even better than you originally thought?

Ephesians 3:20-21 “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.

An All Good Visit

This Past week I had the honor of welcoming my parents to Portantorchas for just shy of a week. It was so good to see my parents interact with the environment that has shaped me these past months. I was very happy to see them after over seven months, and I didn't even think to take any pictures of my own (thankfully they took enough pictures for the three of us). I couldn't get enough of sitting next to them and looking at them. It was almost a trip to see them in this context. It was like I kept thinking that they couldn't really be here because this is Costa Rica and I have been kept from their presence for so long that this can't be real. Thankfully it was.

So, I took them on the public bus, just like I use every week. I told them the stories from Honduras that I was never going to tell them while I was there. It was actually better overall that they saw me alive and safe with their own eyes before I told them some of the things that happened. I showed them every picture I took there, and explained them all too. They listened for hours while (for the first time) I was able to share every sweet moment that warranted a photo.

Then, as the days went on, though I couldn't slow them down or make them just stop for one second, I could watch as they ministered to the whole community and built relationships with the ones I have been for these past months. To see my Mom pray over my friends and my Dad give Godly advice. Then watching my peers worship as my mom lead worship and see how God uses my parents in mighty ways. And on Friday morning as I watched Mom lead the group in worship, tears streamed down my face.


What dear parents, what dear times. I will treasure their visit in my heart as I wait for the day that I step off that plane and get the welcome home that I so often wake up dreaming about. It's good here. It's very good. But this week showed clearly that my heart will be quite ripe for that plane ride home to San Francisco.

The Way it Should Be

The other night at sharing night a wise young lady shared a bit of advice she got at home. Apparently she was telling her mentor about the changes that she went through coming to Bible school and how after four months, when she got home she felt as if  no one understood her. Then, two months later after coming back for a second semester, she felt it again! No one understood her here now because of the changes she went through in the two months at home!! It seems like a constant cycle, and I have felt it. There was little to no chance people were going to understand how my life changed at Orphanage Emmanuel. They weren't there. They didn't see those faces. They didn't feel those little hands in theirs.

So what was the advice she got?

“There will be a part of you that only God and you understand – and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.”

That is such freeing truth. So as I move away from talking your ear off about my time in Honduras, I will finish with the last piece of truth I needed to process through the whole experience. Ashley handed it to me and I have peace and joy.

I hope to continue filling my blog with what happens here at Portantorchas. But, interestingly, I had about 500 photos from last semester, and I have taken maybe 5 this semester so far. I find that metaphorically the first semester was child 1 – it got lots of photos. Then, child two, Honduras, got practically just as many. Child three, that is second semester at Port, has gotten almost none. Typical.  

So let me encourage those of you who have traveled or are traveling. Don’t feel bad if you are now simply living in normality overseas or away from home. Maybe life isn't warranting too many pictures anymore. That’s okay. Or, if you are home now and no one understands, take heart. As it turns out, that’s how it’s supposed to be and that’s good.

Take heart, have peace, and live in extravagant, unrelenting, and joyful freedom.

Let me Introduce ...

Let me introduce to you some of the sweetest and most loving (and sometimes difficult) little Honduran boys that I had the absolute pleasure to serve and love.

Mannuel

Mannuel – sweet, thoughtful, intuitive, leader. Mannuel was the easiest kid in the entire little-boy house to connect with. He was old enough to be funny and silly, but he also could be serious and calm. Mannuel was the best at watching the special needs boy, Jonathan, and was always respectful to him. It was hard to find kids who looked beyond their needs to see anyone else (which is typical in any country and with any kids), yet he did. One day some boys had been really nasty to me and after he came over to me and asked if I was alright and if my feelings were hurt. Very frequently he touched my heart with his spirit and actions.

 Eduardo

Eduardo was a little boy who wanted to feel special. He told me that at 6 his families' house burned down and he was the only survivor. A neighbor brought him to OE and he has been there for a few years now. Eduardo was on one of the cleaning crews so I got to know him very well by the end of my stay. Every night before I left to go home he would ask for a hug and end up in my arms, legs latched around my waist, cheek against mine and rubbing my hair as he holds on. It was like he wasn't thinking about how I would surely be back in the morning, he was just aware that this was the moment he had with me. I want to be more like Eduardo in that way. 

Osman

If I was going to take home one of the boys, it would be Osman. He's not super smart, he didn't come and sit on my lap all the time. He wasn't looking for the love and attention that the other boys were and I am not sure why. But, somehow in his being living I decided I would just love to give him a home. These pictures were taken on his birthday and when I asked how old he was, he didn't know. At first I thought that possibly he was really a lot less sharp than I originally thought, but then I realized that he most likely doesn't have any papers. It's a common occurrence for the kids at OE to not know their birthday (we were most likely celebrating the day he got to the orphanage and calling it his birthday) or how old they are.

Okay, one more picture because he's just so cute :)

Jonathan

Jonathan was my struggle. My challenge. The reminder that I need The Lord and His wisdom. As a special needs boy, Jonathan was a whole different story than the other boys. He is very strong physically and in his will. He can understand almost anything you want to communicate to him. But, he cannot communicate very much at all. I found that it was a constant struggle to be strict and firm while also compassionate and willing to help. I desired him to learn to listen well and thrive independently (which I believe he can) while still loving and caring for him in ways that accommodated his needs. Is it possible for a 20 year old volunteer to find this balance? I don't know. But, I tried always to have a spirit and attitude of love and to seek the Holy Spirit's guidance as I interacted with him. Thankfully, I love the little stinker, and he didn't mind me either :)

In the end I don't have the time, energy, or emotional capacity to write about every little boy who touched my heart. Ultimately, I wish you could just meet them, visit them, hug them, know them. And, as I go through this week, I hope to maybe post one or two more little blurbs about the things God taught me and a few special lessons from Him. In the end, God used 55 little boys to change the heart and life of a 20 year old Gringa. For that and for them, I will be ever grateful. 

Orphanage Emmanuel: How it Works

Okay, so before I can tell you much about my time at OE, I want to explain how this orphanage works.

OE has two sides, a girls side and a boys side. The kids are very separated from each other and with good reason. Because there are over 500 kids there, it would be an impossible undertaking to monitor the interaction of the boys and girls to make sure it is healthy and safe. It is not forbidden to date, but the founders (Mommy and Poppi) are very involved in that process. There have even been couples who were married at OE who were at one time the children living there. But, when there is coed interaction it is very calculated.

The house I worked in was a house with little boys ages 7-11. All the kids are broken into houses based on age and gender. The babies and toddlers are co-ed and if the mother is present she has the chance to live with her baby in the toddler or baby house until the child moves up to the little girl or boy house. Each house has a staff person in charge and many other support staff peoples as well as volunteers.

Many of the children at OE have siblings living there as well -- keeping families together one of the things OE is known for. Many teams that come make a point to get all the kids from families together to visit. Also, a lot of the kids there are not technically orphans because they have living parents that they may or may not know. But, many kids are there because their family was abusive or simply could not provide for them. It is not uncommon for a child to go back with their family after everything is in order and they are back on their feet. And, families can visit their children living at OE on weekends in the visitor area.

My job at the little boy's house was to do the laundry (that 55 boys x 2 outfits (day and night) + sheets that were peed on + lots of towels = a big job). We had 2 washers and one dryer. The dryer we weren't really supposed to use unless we had to. So, we hung most of the clothing outside. I also had to be at every meal and manage all the medicine. I worked with 1-2 other volunteers at this house for most of the time so we were able to work together to complete the responsibilities which was a blessing. After those main tasks were completed, it was up to the volunteers to plan any activities with the boys that we wanted to do or plan the birthday celebrations, pretty much do anything with them other than care for their basic needs which the staff was working to do. My boys had 3-4 big girls watching them through the day and evening who were in charge. It turned out that I was at the orphanage during their break from school so the boys just played all day outside, where normally they would be in school most of the day. This was a perfect opportunity to really get to know the boys and take them for walks to the farm and things like that because they were bored out of their mind most of the time.

My day started at 5am, I got to the little boys house at 6am and took a break from 1-2pm. Then, I went back until 4-5pm and was at the volunteer house for the evening. The  vlunteer house was comfortable and had anywhere from 9-13 girls in it, though it can hold (not comfortably) up to 20 girls. Living with some of the girls was a challenge, but it was a great reminder that ministry doesn't end when you're home, it continues. The volunteer house was a great place to minister to other volunteers through service, being easy to live with, and having a positive attitude when things got hard.

So, that's a little of how the orphanage ran and what I was doing. In my next post I hope to introduce some of my boys that I was especially close to and tell a little about them. And don't worry, I have pictures to last a lifetime!

The back of the house where I hung the laundry.

The yard that the boys played in. Toys and soccer balls were a prized and exciting thing to have.

The orphanage from a water tower on top of a hill. A lot of good prayer times happened up there for me,

The Process of Processing

Two months. Two very long, very swift months. I was at Orphanage Emmanuel (OE) for two months, as you know and I am changed forever. How much time does God need to change a life? For some, an instant. For me, He used the time frame of two months. This week as I process and reflect I want you to be a part of it a little bit. It only seems right because you were a part of my going, a part of my success, and a part of my change. How? you may ask. Chiefly through your prayers, and also through the support and love you were sending me as I was at OE.

Today I will overview my time at OE and just let you know, every one of the prayer requests you prayed for and I prayed during the time I was there were answered. Every one. My time was meaningful and amazing and I pray I get the chance to return. For those that don't know I was working in a house with 55 little boys, ages 7-11. They were about as crazy as you can imagine and they stole my heart. All of my heart and I don't even want it back.

The first few weeks were really hard. But, after week three rolled around, every day was better than the last. I mean it. Christmas was the best I have ever had in my life. The Lord taught me so many cool things and I wish I could tell and show you all the things He did in me, but how can I? It's an impossible task.

So tomorrow or Monday check the blog again and I will hopefully have some sort of creative way to share my time at OE with you.

Thank you for all your prayers. God is so good.